Report 19: Day 20

Alcohol units: 192

Showers: 9

Cat: 1

Dog: 1

Wife: 1

Kids alive: 4

Potatoes: 10kg

In-laws: 2

Dear Diary,

Work this week has been in full swing with everybody’s productivity rate seemingly at a complete high…apart from mine of course! I am struggling to keep a focus on work while important things like COVID-19 memes and live concerts on Instagram keep popping up!

While I should be working on next quarters projections, I am instead focusing on James Bay and Kurt Darren singing from their various bedrooms; over all it’s quite distracting…work that is. Kurt Darren needs to make his bed.

Tomorrow is the first day we get to try our new potato Vodka production; I have left now largely up to the wife who in-between educating our children and baking has taken it upon herself to refine our distillery into a start of the art production hub; she has googled, “pintrested” and “youtubed” her way through the internet to hopefully give us the best shot at a decent tipple; sister-in-law, Poppie and I are all quite excited.

I have taken to letting the dog out of the front gate to take itself for walks; on the one hand she can roam around the neighbourhood and get some exercise while the whole process doesn’t involve illegal dog-walking activity from me. The negative of course is that twice this week someone has found her and called the police about a “lost dog”; I have had to then go and “reclaim” her even though she was 3 doors down from us; twice I have had to tell the authorities that she “escaped under the fence” …not sure that excuse will hold up a third time.

The eldest of the litter has proposed making her a little sign saying “I am not lost, just briefly escaping, going home soon” – not bad I thought, should have done this for Raymond (or me?). She is certainly a happier pooch for getting out and about a bit…mind you all of us would be, I guess. Still she is seeing some action and the outside world which is more than most pets in the lockdown right now.

Dear Diary; we are about to reach “that week”.

Potentially the most expensive week in the year barring Christmas holidays; the week of the “Birthdays”.

My Sister-in-law, Father-in-law and the wife all have birthdays within days of each other starting this coming Wednesday. Part of me is quite suspicious of them prearranging this accidental living arrangement we find ourselves in so the “Taylors” can be together over this week! It’s the kind of thing you expect when you live with three “Taurus’s”.

The only plan I have at the moment regarding gifting is to head to Pick ‘n Pay and see what one can likely create a present out of? Not sure that there is much to be done. Poppie is easy, anything spices, braai or preserves related will be good – and all deemed essential in this period, so we are safe; the alternative being an online voucher for Tinder? I don’t know if that is a thing and loathed to ask the wife.

The SiL and the wife present a more difficult task; SiL is already on Tinder I think so not an option, but maybe one of those Spar vouchers that you can get online? She may have to wait three years before lockdown is lifted and she can actually use it though. Will chat to wife.

Talking of the wife, this is presenting me with a substantial problem; because I didn’t foresee the extension I didn’t plan ahead; to be honest like many I thought we may be out of lockdown by now and then the whole present and planning thing would have been like back in BC (before Corona).

My options are pretty much whatever Checkers or Pick ‘n Pay have on their shelves right now that is vaguely “gifty” but at the same time deemed essential; at this rate we are looking at some Dove Soap and Earbud combination (Dove do a great range of eco -friendly buds BTW), a large bar of Cadburys Top Deck and a jar of olives? Will have a look around at Clicks as well – they are the oddest store; surely the only shop you can buy 30 Nurofen, a box of Lindt and a “Snackwich” maker all at the same time?

Need to go, meeting in 10 minutes with Susan from HR on zoom again…dreading her asking me for a completed timesheet or something…will use the 10 minutes I have to catchup on Carpool Karaoke; James Corden is the patron saint of entertainment right now.

RH